Astrobabble at Red Eye Records

 

I took a couple of copies of Astrobabble into Red Eye Records the other week, expecting to be mocked for my star gazing obsession by the hipster types who work there. On the contrary, the amiable young Nick who served me was enthusiastic about stocking Astrobabble. Hurrah!

As you can see from the image above, issues Kurt C, Nick C, and Andy W proudly take their places amongst Red Eye's expanding zine collection that includes iconic DIY publications such as Stitches In My Head, Distort, and my fave, Born Loser, for which I was unable to find a link. Damn. Nestled on the next shelves are zines by Vanessa Berry, SCAR, and Tinman Johnson who creates the too cute Harvey the 29th. It's nice to be among friends.

Astro Shite for May 2013

Aries
The Full Moon Eclipse in your travel sector on 25 May highlights the spirit of adventure. Explore exotic locations like Roppongi or Mildura to the fullest. The purpose of this transit is to drop you in uncharted physical spaces that trigger alternative mental perspectives (kinda like listening to Severed Heads through a defective clothes dryer). Ingest shavings of raw ginger to combat motion sickness as you move your lazy arse from the couch to destinations that require medical jabs for Green Monkey Disease.
Aries politician: Nick Minchin

Taurus

Taurus, this is the month to curb your stubborn streak. The Universe demands that you adopt a flexible attitude to attract opportunities that you would otherwise dismiss out of rigidity. Links between the New Moon Solar Eclipse and the South Node help restructure your physical space with exasperating flat-pack shelving. Good luck with that. Venus and Mercury combine with Jupiter between 27 and 30 May. Strike a deal with Eddie Obeid to create wealth in the most scandalous way possible. Stash your cash in offshore tax havens with the help of Mars from 31 May.

Taurus politician: Bill Shorten

Gemini

Networking skills are enhanced when Mercury enters your sign between 2 and 15 May, and is joined by Venus on 10 May. The eclipse on 25 May in your relationship zone emphasises the joy and excitement of being in leeerrrrve. The Moon highlights your inner world of feelings, which is in contrast to the cluster of planets in erudite Gemini. Develop your gut instinct and listen with your heart. Mars adds Drive to your laundry load after 31 May for extra softness and freshness. Focus on artistic inspiration on 30 May when Neptune improves your hairdo with fluoro dip-dyed ends. Cool.

Gemini politician: Bob Katter

Cancer

Mercury activates your first house at the end of the month, making it easier for you to overcome your natural shyness. Your recreational zone receives the gift of Saturn, so you’ll have to seriously ask yourself whether you’re having fun yet. Commit to zine-making, or schedule regular swap meets with like-minded dorks. Under Saturn’s influence, practical tools such as long arm staplers, UHU glue sticks, and comfort-fit scissors take on great significance. Don’t dis them; they are the gateway to a higher calibre of DIY. Let the inner revolution begin when Mars slips into your spirituality house on 31 May. Your spirit seeks rest, diversion, and a packet of pretzels to go with that beer.

Cancer politician: Wayne Swan

Leo

The eclipse in your tenth house on 10 May illuminates your true calling. If you are employed in a job that feeds your gut but not your soul, now is the time to get fired by bouncing around the office in a flesh-coloured body stocking. Yikes! Despite this disturbing image, you still manage to ooze Leo charm under the Venus transit on 10 May. You’ll be especially popular when Jupiter and Venus align between 26 and 29 May, and the body stocking slips off after a few bottles of Rekorderlig. Despite what the Fun Police say, living the good life with your mates is still a legal activity the last time I checked.

Leo politician: Joe Hockey

Virgo

Kill your face with a refining fruit acid facial when Venus squares your Sun on 10 May. It could mean the difference between looking like Kerry Ann Kennelly or Kerry Packer. Mars activates your career zone after 31 May, boosting your confidence at work. May is the month for professional change and progress if you’ve outgrown your current job. Communication and strategic skills come effortlessly under a Mercury transit from 10 May; you’ll be able to juggle different commitments simultaneously. The Lunar Eclipse in your domestic sector on 25 May helps create harmony between home concerns and your public life. Who says that you can’t have it all?

Virgo politician: Kate Ellis

Libra

Mercury accelerates your professional life on 31 May by networking and multi-tasking with abandon. The Winged Messenger joins Jupiter in your travel zone from 15 May for one of your best globetrotting phases this year. Whatever journey you embark on under this transit needs to be meaningful. You gain clarity about your place in the world while marooned on Clive Palmer, who you mistake for an atoll off the Queensland coast.

Libra politician: Julia Gillard

Scorpio

The key word for Scorpio this month is deep. With Mercury occupying your love zone between 2 and 15 May, and Venus entering your eighth house mid-month, you are propelled to form deep connections with a significant other. Like organically grown herbs, this deep relationship contains healing properties that go a long way to revitalising a tired old tart such as yourself. You’ll be inclined to smooth over personal differences for the sake of a deep union. The sharing of money, power, intimacy, and other deep issues are intensified by this month’s transits. Pretty deep, isn’t it?

Scorpio politician: Tony Abbott

Sagittarius

Mars brings fire to your love life on 31 May, but not before Venus aligns with Jupiter between the sheets on 26 May. This romantic period harmonises with the Sagittarius eclipse on 25 May. A Sagittarius Moon finds emotional stability in faith. You’ll receive flashes of inspiration from a creepy guy planted behind a Magnolia bush. Go with it. Find a mate who’ll be your fellow traveller, but protect your emotional freedom. Nothing frustrates a Centaur more than being smothered by someone who is not as hot as they are. Ask Woody Allen. Then again, don’t.

Sagittarius politician: Tanya Plibersek

Capricorn

The Saturn-Neptune link on 30 May supplies you with compassion. Your softer side emerges from the career-climbing-bastard-in-a-suit persona you present to the world. Drop your defences and your daks and show loved ones how you really feel. Renew creative plans under the eclipse on 10 May. Let go of unfulfilled pipe dreams and focus on what’s possible now.

Capricorn politician: Sarah Hanson Young

Aquarius

The period between 26 and 29 May is gratifying, thanks to Mercury, Venus, and Jupiter forming favourable aspects to your Sun. Forge creative partnerships with other zine dudes, and embark on your Big Creative Adventure armed with ideas and Crayola markers. Old family soap operas like The Sullivans and Sons and Daughters croak under the 10 May eclipse. Any activity that thrusts you into a future that looks like Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey is more than okay with you.

Aquarius politician: Eric Abetz

Pisces

The eclipse on 25 May invigorates your career zone. This transit exposes your true colours at work. Be bold and tell your boss where he can stick his revised Excel spread sheet. The Venus-Jupiter link on 10 May inspires you to make your domestic environment prettier. Finalise your living arrangements between 15 and 31 May, before the package deals end at Fantastic Furniture.

Pisces politician: Anthony Albanese

Astrobabble Cover Art, Issue #9

The fabulous Cate Riley returns to Zine Land to create the cover for issue #9 of Astrobabble. Cate's talent blows me away. She nails art work by superseding all my ideas and expectations of what cover art should look like. Obviously I haven't a clue; I'm glad that I have someone on board who does. Cate's work can be found on fadstudios' website at www.fadstudios.com.au.

Issue #9 covers the glamorous sign Leo and its ruling planet, the Sun. The magnetism with which the Lion lures others is highlighted in a feature article regarding fame-obsessed Leo, Andy Warhol. I also investigate the Sun as an astrological symbol and its role in popular 'star sign' astrology that most of us know through horoscope columns in magazines and newspapers (and Astro Shite).

I struggled to get this issue together. Amidst the stress and chaos of selling a home, buying another, and having to move a couple of times across three suburbs, I lost vast amounts of time and energy, pushing this labour of love that is zine making into the background (and to the bottom of a storage box) where it left my consciousness for a few months.

Copies of issue #9 will arrive at The Sticky Institute in Melbourne over the next week, but I won't be launching Astrobabble in Sydney until the MCA Zine Fair at the end of May. Not that anyone is holding their breath. Just as well; I need the time and space to recover from the anguish of having to repay a bank loan for the next one-hundred-and-twenty-five years. Not very DIY, is it? 



Astro Shite for April 2013

Aries
The New Moon in your sign on 10 April represents the start of the astrological new year. It’s a powerful time for setting goals for the next twelve months. The Mars-Sun link on 18 April intensifies leadership qualities, so you’ll be your customary bossy self this month. Career transformations are likely after 26 April, when you land a job that’s more comfortable than the Ahh bra. As usual, you want more control over what you do and who you do it with. It’s understood that the Ram gets what it wants, so I don’t know why I mentioned it.
Aries Celtic Tree: Alder (the trailblazer)

Taurus

You’ll experience some hot love action when Venus and Mars activate your sign between 15 April and 3 May. The passion swells like a baboon’s arse under the full Lunar Eclipse on 26 April, and by Venus and Pluto getting it on in sensual Earth signs. Discover the support you need for special zine projects by borrowing Aries’ Ahh bra. Mars enters you sign on 21 April. You’ll start a two-year cycle of achievement by getting out of bed and doing something. Expect to experience the esoteric world on 19 April when David Copperfield’s nose pays you a visit by thought transference.

Taurus Celtic Tree: Willow (the observer)

Gemini

Between 15 April and 31 May, the Sun, Mercury, Venus, and Mars will invigorate your twelfth house of spirituality. Focus on your inner space; the one between your legs. Your awareness of intuitive influences grows, as you discover that every orifice the Gods have blessed you with are gateways to mysticism. April is one of the best months to take a holiday. Dropping out of the loop actually helps you prepare for new adventures that begin mid-year.
Gemini Celtic Tree: Hawthorn (the illusionist)

Cancer

Gorgeous Venus reminds you of the value of friendship when she transits your eleventh house after 15 April. Remember the power of support, both in networking and control top leggings. Sassybax is definitely the best hosiery for shaping your legs like Cyd Charisse. Goddess power governs your world throughout April, so there’ll be benefits in hooking up with like-minded women. Mars helps you make your mark with a stolen Sharpie from Officeworks after 20 April.

Cancer Celtic Tree: Oak (the stabiliser)

Leo

The New Moon on 10 April forms favourable aspects to your Sun. This is an ideal time to explore philosophies that will take you in a fresh direction. The saying ‘you can’t choose your family …’ applies to your domestic situation during the eclipse on 26 April. Emotions run high like those in The Godfather parts one, two, and three. You know that your life is off kilter when you find a decapitated horse head in your bed.

Leo Celtic Tree: Holly (the ruler)

Virgo

Mars activates your higher learning zone after 20 April. You’ll find radical ways to use your mind for finding inner peace and your car keys. April is the month to take the first steps to fulfilling a teaching or study dream. ‘Do as I do’ becomes your motto, as you put your beliefs into action and ensure that they reflect your truth. Your hips and thighs become active like a Centaur on heat, thanks to the Venus transit in your travel zone after 15 April.

Virgo Celtic Tree: Hazel (the knower)

Libra

The New Moon in your relationship sector has you questioning what you want out of love. Creating a wall collage of the ideal lover you’d like to spoon will help you find answers. This New Moon aligns with Mars, and is then joined by Mercury on 15 April. The astrological orgy intensifies when Uranus is stimulated by Mars, Venus, and the Sun, generating specific romantic events. Your delicate constitution is rocked by all the lovin’, so slow down the mood and recuperate occasionally.

Libra Celtic Tree: Vine (the equaliser)

 

Scorpio

Scorpios are advised to invest energy into their professional life during the first half of April. The Universe will highlight your managerial ability and leadership skills then. You’ll be assigned special tasks that only you can carry through, like defrosting the staff deep freezer and sterilising the coffee machine. Venus enters your romantic zone on 15 April, followed by the Sun and Mars on 20 April, triggering a passionate event that makes Beyoncé and Jay-Z look like the shelf-stackers at Coles.

Scorpio Celtic Tree: Ivy (the survivor)

 

Sagittarius

The Sun, Venus, and Mars join Uranus in your house of love. This shattering cocktail of a transit has you reaching your sexual peak. You develop an insatiable thirst for romantic adventure, but be wary that you often pay the price for taking such risks. Expect the passion to cool down by the end of the month. Restrict your debauchery to wearing your lover’s underwear on the weekends. You can blame this perilous behaviour on the Sun-Venus-Mars-Uranus conglomeration, or you can be like Milli Vanilli and blame it on the rain.

Sagittarius Celtic Tree: Elder (the seeker)

Capricorn

Capricorn, you will unearth your sensual side when Venus and Mars merge to form a trine with your Sun. Take off that straight jacket posing as an Anthony Squires business suit, and unleash your lizard-wang on an unsuspecting public. You sex life will intensify after 20 April, as you divide and conquer Wyong’s lake district. The Central Coast will never be the same again. Saturn indicates that you’re under the magnifying glass at work. Feigning professional interest and dedication can save your sorry arse from redundancy this month.

Capricorn Celtic Tree: Birch (the achiever)

Aquarius

Jupiter in your love zone increases your pulling power up to July this year. That photo of you posing in liquid stockings and a studded fringe bra has cyber-peeps going crazy on Instagram. Hot stuff! Mars exposes any hidden aggression on the home front after 20 April. Passive-aggressive behaviour towards house mates doesn’t resolve issues that are best discussed openly and calmly. Fortunately, Venus cushions the blow with cushions and other domestic luxury items. Home life can be sweet if you beautify your environment with symbols of good taste like over-designed zines produced on quality stock: boring to read, but lovely to look at.

Aquarius Celtic Tree: Rowan (the thinker)

Pisces

Mercury in Pisces often struggles with fuzzy thinking. This could well be your dilemma until 15 April. You are unable to handle the details of life, and reach for the Jim Beam. Develop confidence by finding suitable creative self-expression, and release all that’s absorbed back into the world. Mercury in Pisces is the placement of The Poet. Life will seem more like an impressionistic painting than a Kanye West YouTube video. Hooray! Uranus dominates your financial sector, making April a month where you consider joint business ventures. And joints. Spliff it while the going is good.

Pisces Celtic Tree: Ash (the enchanter)

Astrobabble #8 at Salford Zine Library

 

I have to stop singing the Cancerian mantra of 'nobody loves me ... blah ... blah ...' after being rejected by the Museum of Contemporary Art's annual zine fair. At least the mighty Salford Zine Library in England thinks that issue 8 of Astrobabble deserves a mention on their blog. Many thanks, guys.

Astro Shite for March 2013

Aries
The spirit of rebellion peaks between 22 and 24 March, thanks to the Mars-Uranus link. A 'f**k-you-I'll-work-when-I'm-dead' attitude liberates you from the Orwellian social engineering championed by bureaucratic zombies and Labor Party drones. Channel your inner-warrior and fight for your right to party. You win a few fans under the Venus-Mars transit, but then who can resist a protesting ram in a feathered war bonnet?
Aries sports personality: Maria Sharapova (tennis)

Taurus

Separating yourself from restrictive individuals or situations between 28 and 29 March helps you reconnect with your individuality. Dare to be yourself for a change, and grow those Lemmy-style sideburns you’ve always wanted. Mercury ensures that you make new connections on Facebook, as your curiosity about certain imaginary peeps with super-cool profile pics gets the better of you. You stop making sense until 16 March. Be patient and wait for Mercury to move forward mid-month before you open your trap and make a dick of yourself.

Taurus sports personality: Dennis Rodman (basketball)

Gemini

Your productivity will be less than zero under Mercury’s retrograde motion until 16 March. Avoid zine-making and other forms of DIY until the middle of the month, when you’ll be in a better place mentally and cosmically to forge ahead with your disturbing but groundbreaking ideas. Others look to you for direction during the Mars-Uranus transit on 12 March. You lead the way in zine community-related activities involving a port-a-loo or a falafel stand or some such demountable.

Gemini sports personality: Anthony Mundine (boxing)

Cancer

Mars revs up your adventure sector until 12 March. Be brave and explore destinations where Western-style toilets are two kingdoms away. Mercury’s influence emphasises the learning process, so get use to wiping your butt with your left hand. A crisis of meaning has you questioning your empty but ridiculously hip lifestyle. You review your belief system around 16 March, after your current guru has touched you inappropriately with his left hand.

Cancer sports personality: Zinedine Zidane (soccer)

Leo

You’ll need large doses of freedom to release you from the deadening routine of your office job between 28 and 30 March. Paperwork, paperclips, and your Microsoft Outlook inbox can go to hell, as you free that noose from your neck and leap into the lap of thrills ‘n’ spills. Buck convention buck naked. Try to avoid caving into pressure on 22 March by stripping at a bus stop or outside a church. A trine to your Sun from Venus and Mars makes you ultra-popular this month, thanks to your various nude performances around town.

Leo sports personality: Roger Federer (tennis)

Virgo

The New Moon on 12 March signals the beginning of a significant relationship. With a Stellium of six planets in the dreamy and spiritual sign of Pisces, your romantic zone will demand most of your attention and energy this month. Focus on feelings. Is your partner meeting your emotional needs, or are they just an accessory you wear on your arm like a henna tattoo? Mars demands that you take charge of your love life. Your ruling planet, Mercury, retrogrades until 16 March. Second chances with someone finer than your current crush are ideal now.

Virgo sports personality: Lance Armstrong (cycling)

Libra

The Full Moon in your sign on 27 March highlights the Importance of Being Reasonable. Apart from looking sensational, Libra prioritises justice and harmony, and asks that we give peace a chance. The Venus-Uranus link between 28 and 29 March signals a temporary break from significant relationships. Expect a turning point in romantic direction around 12 March. You’ll be demanding authenticity in your love life with plenty of spice thrown in.

Libra sports personality: Ian Thorpe (swimming)

Scorpio

March is the beginning of a new creative cycle for Scorpio. Mercury retrogrades in your arty sphere until 16 March, so review your dodgy DIY output then. You get in touch with a more deeply creative and expressive part of yourself mid month. This period produces a zine titled Getting in Touch with a More Deeply Creative and Expressive Part of Myself, which, as zine titles go, is up there with I’m Sorry I Sold Your Stuff on eBay. Kind of. Kind of.

Scorpio sports personality: Mitchell Johnson (cricket)

Sagittarius

Johnny Depp once said that he tries to stay in a constant state of confusion because of the expression it leaves on his face. Sagittarius, you will be adopting this philosophy until 16 March for reasons which are too confusing to explain. DIY planet, Mars, enters your domestic sector until 12 March, so spend time zine-making in the comfort of your cardboard container. Be mindful of the Mercury retrograde motion during the first two weeks; you’ll be stop-starting projects. Expect a creative shift mid month, but don’t over think the process like a Cancerian - just do it like a Sagittarian.

Sagittarius sports personality: Ricky Ponting (cricket)

Capricorn

Mars and the Sun align with Uranus between 22 to 24 March, and then on 28 to 30 March in your home environment. These are peak periods where others see your domestic choices as unorthodox, especially your attempt to cook a lamb roast in the dishwasher. A cluster of planets in your communication house on 12 March has you mumbling like Beaker from The Muppets, which is an improvement in self expression.

Capricorn sports personality: Tiger Woods (golf)

Aquarius

Mars makes his once-every-two-year visit through your wealth sector until 12 March. This transit helps you master new income options like growing indoor hydroponics, and mastering Spanish 21. The actions you take now help establish a two-year financial improvement plan. This transit comes with a cautionary period that expires on 16 March. Avoid your usual practise of stuffing packets of Maggi Noddles down your trousers when shoplifting at Franklins.

Aquarius sports personality: Kathy Freeman (sprinting)

Pisces

It will be a super-charged New Moon in Pisces on 12 March. The Sun and Moon, Neptune, Mercury, Venus, and Mars occupy your first house of self-image. Cut out the iced finger buns for an instant slim down. Mercury aligns with Pluto, suggesting that the truth be uncovered as to how cloying a Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup is, and do calories count if the damn thing sticks to the roof of your mouth? Mars boosts courage until 12 March. Be strong and eliminate horse meat from your diet. Mars and Uranus align in your money sector between 22 and 24 March. There’ll be a breakthrough concerning money that requires a break and enter job.

Pisces sports personality: Lleyton Hewitt (tennis)

2013: the Chinese Year of the Water Snake

It was a serendipitous moment when Ciao Magazine asked me to write a Chinese horoscope column in place of my regular Western astrology column to kick-start the new year. I was examining information concerning the Year of the Water Snake when I received the email from editorial, requesting Chinese horoscopes for an impending issue. You could say that the Universe prepared me for that gig. Thank you, Cosmos!

It’s fitting that I should research and write about the celestial energies whirling around us this year. I have the Sun, Venus, and Mars in the watery sign of Cancer, and 2013 suggests a strong Water essence, as shown by the following aspects:

• Venus enters Pisces on 27 February and co-joins with Neptune, the Sun, Chiron, Mercury, and Mars, with an aspecting trine from Saturn and the North Node in Scorpio.


• Neptune in Pisces and Saturn in Scorpio receive a trine from Jupiter in Cancer on 26 June.


• Mercury retrogrades in Pisces on 23 February, followed by retrogrades in Cancer on 26 June and in Scorpio on 21 October.


• Numerologically, 2013 adds up to the universal world year 6. Astrologically, this energy is similar to Cancer, and represents emotional bonding or nurturing.

As the year of the Water Snake in Chinese astrology, 2013 will be a time of emotional transformation, especially for individuals and countries that have a predominance of the Water element in their charts. They will undergo the most noticeable change, especially during the May and November eclipse periods (emotionally transformational points). Such transits will affect Cancerian drama queen, Courtney Love, for example, who has recently re-entered the world stage, thanks to her musical collaboration with Michael Stipe on the ditty Rio Grande; one of the tracks taken from Johnny Depp’s sea shanties compilation Son of Rogue’s Gallery: Pirate Ballads, Sea Songs and Chanteys. Dare we see a crisis of meaning masquerading as highly publicised meltdowns from Ms Love?

Far from being a year where material concerns like economics and technology prevail, the coming months will be a chance for us to quit functioning like robots or computers, and reclaim our human side. Ditch the iWank and re-connect with people. There is a tradition amongst older Italian men, known in some regions as Piazza, where two or more friends meet at midnight to walk and talk, presumably in a piazza or a similar environment. Piazza ensures that these men connect on a deep, emotional level in a time and space that is safe for them to do so, to talk, really talk about the fundamental things. I see 2013 as the universal Piazza we have to have. See you there at midnight.